It’s like learning to live with an amputation, some have said. You are never the same as you were before. This is certainly true, when we reflect upon struggling to make sense of our loss. We may feel as if we are in the dark groping to find our way to the light. I can remember doing just that when I was a child for fun, but as an adult and you are stumbling in your journey of grief, it is anything but fun. For a time we cannot make sense of anything. We also may feel that our emotions are all over the place, running the gamut of the alphabet all at once.
For some the difficult choice may be whether to be angry for our loss or to be grateful for the time we had. We probably have heard it said by our guardian many times, ‘nothing lasts forever.’ Yet though we know this in the back of our mind, we nonetheless form strong attachments to people and things. We develop deep sentimental value on them and then when there is that separation, especially unannounced and unexpected it often will shake us to our very core. We might begin to doubt our values, beliefs, and our trust in what we formerly felt secure.
If we choose anger over gratitude then we risk postponing or even preventing healing from taking place. No, I am not saying it is an easy, clean choice either. Often our mind is in a fog and we are not thinking clearly, and our focus and concentration is not working as it has formerly. Thus we may be in a battle with anger on the one side and gratitude on the other, and anger seems to be the stronger of the two. Anger can be a very powerful and consuming emotion. When I was a youth I was taught the importance of gratitude and when I am given something, to say thank you, show appreciation for what I have been given. Because nothing lasts forever sometimes I forget to say thank you. This is Sunrise.
