It is easier to lose a child to death, than this way. This was said by a grieving mother, about her child. She described her heart as hurting, aching as if she were having a heart attack. She further described her impending grief she saw herself experiencing as she looked forward to the months ahead. As she spoke she told of how she believed the future would develop. Her perception was that she understood clearly how each month would occur with the specific outcome. The end result she said would break her heart, and then she knew not how she would endure beyond that end time.
Much like one who has lost a loved one through death, there is a line of separation. In death it is the point when the spirit leaves the body. We do not look forward to it, nor did we ask for it in most cases, but the day has arrived. On a positive note, at least this date brings some resolution. One period ends, their physical life. A parent’s grief for their loss begins. Yet, if the loss involves the living, there is no closure, is there? There is no resolution that death brings. How does a parent cope? How does a parent move forward with their life, when their loss is among the living, they have just chosen to continue their life elsewhere?
Perhaps what makes this loss so painful is the anxiety of anticipation. Knowing what is going to happen on the horizon, or at least a feeling of assurance that one knows. With every passing day the reminder is there. Every day brings the day of separation nearer, increasing the anxiety and grief and with it the weight of your heavy heart. It all seems more than one can bear. We may tell ourselves that very thought that this is more than we can bear. It is just as powerful a hypnotic to tell ourselves we can and will cope and endure this. Our loved one chose to leave; we did not push them out. This is Sunrise.
