Various types of death among children
1. The death of an infant.  The death of a baby may occur before, during, and after birth.  Death may result from a number of causes: a miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy (gestation somewhere other than the uterus, i.e., in a fallopian tube or in the peritoneal cavity), cystic hygromas (a condition causing the baby to be born in pieces or disfigured), anencephalia (congenital absence of part or all of the brain), stillbirth, and
SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome). 
A note regarding SIDS: One of the saddest and most painful events a parent will ever face is the sudden and unexpected death of an apparently healthy baby due to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).  This is sometimes referred to as “crib death.”  In the United States it is estimated that 8,000-10,000 infants between the ages of one week and one year die each year due to SIDS, the number-one cause of childhood deaths.  One-half of all infants who die in their first year of life die from SIDS.  Doctors are not sure exactly what causes SIDS, but they suspect it involves some kind of respiratory failure.  SIDS is the sudden and unexpected death of an infant or young child without any apparent cause.  Even autopsies do not reveal a cause of death.  Although there has been a great deal of research, very little is known about SIDS.  SIDS is not hereditary, contagious, predictable, preventable, or caused by suffocation or vomiting; nor is it anyone’s fault.  It is a definite medical entity that can be identified after a thorough medical history and a detailed autopsy.  The child is usually found lifeless following a nap or a night of sleep.  The baby can die in any position—on his/her back, side or stomach.  Victims do not cry or sound alarm.  They simply die in their sleep.  However, they die so suddenly that they do not suffer.  When a baby dies unexpectedly and suddenly from SIDS it is devastating for parents and family members.  Because an infant was not sick, family members often feel that they either did or did not do something that caused the baby’s death.  When the cause of a baby’s death is unknown people have a tendency to blame themselves and others for the unexplainable death of a baby.  Intense guilt is often present in parents who lose a baby due to SIDS
2. The death of an adolescent.  There are many ways in which an adolescent child can die.  Some causes of death include: accident, illness, drowning, poison, asphyxiation, substance abuse, homicide, and suicide.  Many in their late teens and older die in military combat.  One of the contributing factors to the founding of our SUNRISE Aftercare Program was the inordinate number of teenagers who died unexpectedly during the 1980’s.  Parents, family members, friends, and teachers were devastated by these loses.  Schools, churches, and groups within the community came together to offer support.  Funeral directors, clergy persons, physicians, nurses, mental health counselors, guidance counselors, and other professionals reached out to bereaved families in a joint effort to be supportive.  As I recently reviewed several newspaper articles about the death of these adolescents from that period during the 1980’s, I realized that I am still astounded at the number of high school and college-age young people who died in our community during that period of time.  However, statistics continue to grow and accumulate up to the present moment.  It is an eye-opening experience to review funeral records regarding the death of adolescents in our community over the past twenty-five years.  These are young persons who unfortunately “died before their time.”   
3. The death of an adult child.  Regardless of a child’s age when he/she dies, if one or both of their parents are still alive, those parents are going to undergo a grief experience.  Whenever parents lose a child, regardless of that child’s age, the reality is that their child has died, and age does not matter.  For example, my wife’s grandmother, Arbie McKinney, who lived to be 105 years old, lost two of her three children before she died.  These were two sons who lived well into their retirement years.  As my wife reflected on this she asked a cogent question: “Who are the children?”  In reality, we are all children of our parents, whether we are an infant, toddler, adolescent, or aging adult, and our death will create grief for our surviving parents. 
One of the things many bereaved parents say is that it is unnatural for parents to bury their children.  A mother whom I know who buried two of her three adult daughters within a year said to me, “It’s all turned around, upside down, and backwards.  It’s not natural.  Children are supposed to bury their parents.  Parents are not supposed to bury their children.” 
Many parents who lose an adult child have a sense of guilt because they outlived their child.  It is also not uncommon for bereaved parents to be angry and feel that it is unjust that their deceased adult child died before they were able to live out the normal years of their life and complete many of the things about which they had dreamed. 
Other factors enter into the grief of a parent losing an adult child.  For example, if a deceased child was married and had a family, the bereaved parents are going to be drawn into the grief of the surviving spouse and children.  The countless memories of an adult child growing up, graduating, serving in the military, becoming established in a chosen profession, getting married, having children; memories of all the special moments, pain, and joy; memories of special times of celebration and accomplishment; and memories of all the family interrelatedness all loom in the minds of bereaved parents who bury their children.  Thus the circle of grief widens and becomes even more inclusive as persons pass from one stage of life to another.