Suggestions for rebuilding life following the death of a parent
Each person must design his/her own individuall program for recovery and rebuilding based upon their particular life, unique needs, and experiences. Use methods that work for you. Take charge of your life.Begin in a simple way. Take one step at a time, one day at a time. Keep everything simple and positive. Set simple, reasonable, realistic, and attainable goals.Build on your beginning. As you make a simple beginning in your recovery, you will begin to regain your confidence, balance, and self-esteem, and, in time, you will once again feel alive. Remember, this process takes place gradually and incrementally. Take things slowly and in stride. Do not be bothered by slight regressions. Progress does not happen suddenly and quickly, but rather a slow, gradual, up-and-down movement that is constantly progressing upward. You will know for certain that recovery and healing are taking place within you.Make peace with the loss of your parent. This step is necessary if we are to move toward peace and wholeness. Letting go does not mean that we forget the person whom we have lost; it means, rather, that we are making peace with our loss and accepting it as a reality.Begin the process of creating and building a new life for yourself. Give yourself time to think, then make a list of things you would like to do and meaningful projects you would like to undertake. Once you begin this new undertaking you will have the satisfaction of knowing that you are well on your way toward recovery, and this will be accompanied by a feeling of deep joy and fulfillment. Remember that you are in control of your life and that you have the option of constantly reviewing and revising your life-plan.View the death of your parent from a new perspective. In time, and with God’s help, you will be able to view your loss against the backdrop of the “Big Picture.” You can now treasure the memories you have of your deceased parent and appreciate all of important and priceless things they brought into your life.Reach out to others who have also lost loved ones, especially those who have lost parents. Your experience with losing your parent prepares you to be a caring, understanding, and empathetic person who will be effective in helping other bereaved persons. Seize opportunities to help others. Use the experience of losing a parent in creative and helpful ways.Make use of grief materials and resources that are available. A wealth of information about grief and the loss of a parent is available. There are local, regional, national, and international organizations and support groups whose purpose is to assist bereaved persons in understanding and coping with various types of grief. You will find a list of helpful resources at the end of this article.

Suggestions for helping young children and adolescents deal with the death of a parent
In the case of young children, when there is a death of a parent, the surviving parent should be honest with the young child about the death of the child’s mother or father. Parental dishonesty can create even more problems for the child who has lost a parent. Children are perceptive; they know when adults are being deceptive and sending mixed signals. When a child’s grandparent has died, it is important for the child’s parents to be honest and tell them that their grandparent has “died.” Using terms other than “death” and “dying” can often be confusing for the young child. For example, when a young child is told that their grandparent is “sleeping,” the child may assume that, after so long, the grandparent will wake up and return home, or, in some cases, the child is afraid to go to sleep because they associate “sleeping” with “dying.” Some children who were told that their grandparent had “gone away” had an urge to look for them and try to find them, all the while longing for them to return from the mysterious place where they “went.” The child may feel that the grandparent has chosen to leave and not return. When a parent dies, the young child needs reassurance so that they can be confident that their fear of abandonment is unfounded. When the child receives reassurance, it creates a sense of security and helps to determine how the child will process future losses. Since the death of a parent can create guilt and self-blame within young children and adolescents, it is important that they be given understandable information regarding heart attacks, cancer, accidents or whatever claimed the life of their parent. Unless children understand what claimed the life of their parent, they sometimes blame themselves for the death of their parent. This is rooted in guilt feelings which children experience in response to the death of their parent. For example, the child might recall angry feelings he/she had toward his/her dad, and, out of anger, the child’s momentary silent wish that his/her dad would go away suddenly became a reality. The child could end up feeling that the deceased parent decided to leave him/her because he/she was so bad. It is also important for a young child to have an ongoing sense of order, rhythm, and routine in his/her daily life. This greatly affects the child’s feeling of security and well-being and compensates for the insecurity that the death of a parent creates within the child. When a parent dies, the child may feel that his/her survival is also threatened because it is tied to the parent’s survival and non-survival; therefore, it is important that the child feel that, in spite of his/her parent’s death, his/her survival is not threatened It is also important to help the young child rebuild his/her life. This enables the child to pick up the broken pieces, accept their loss, adjust to what has happened, and move on with his/her life.