Years ago, a well-known celebrity lost a child when she was five months pregnant. She and her husband shared pictures of themselves holding their baby, obviously and understandably grieving their loss—and numerous people found fault with that. Negative comments were made. Derogatory statements were posted. But then a news anchor on a nationwide cable network reported the story, and asked the following question:
“Why suffer in silence?”
It was, I thought, an excellent question. A question designed to give those who were being so critical a moment to examine their motives for attempting to shame the grieving parents. They had chosen to allow the world a brief look behind the curtain that separated their private lives from their public ones. To let everyone know that Loss does not discriminate and Grief is universal. I’m sure that willingness resonated with thousands of parents who had also lost children, reminding them they were not alone.
Sometimes it takes more strength to share your pain than it does to hide it.
I hope, if anyone ever has the strength to share their grief with you, you will be open to listening. That you will take the time to hear their story and offer what comfort you can. No judgement. No condemnation. Just quiet consolation. It may have taken all the courage they could muster to talk about their loss. Please don’t ever make them feel as though they made a mistake when they did.
About the author: Lisa Shackelford Thomas is a fourth-generation member of a family that’s been in funeral service since 1926 and has worked with Shackelford Funeral Directors in Savannah, Tennessee for over 45 years. Any opinions expressed here are hers and hers alone and may or may not reflect the opinions of other Shackelford family members or staff.
