Top Ten Reasons to Reconsider Cremation

Shackelford Funeral Directors • April 9, 2015

We were in bookkeeping not long ago (have you noticed that a fair amount of insanity originates from this location? It’s kinda like the Bermuda Triangle but for intellectual thought instead of ships) when one of our number mentioned having read where someone’s ashes were placed in an urn that resembled a purse, and that the house where said urn lived had been entered illegally and the “purse” stolen. That was the only thing they took. The purse. Don’t you know they were surprised when they opened it? Anyway, the police never found the urn and the family was naturally devastated. If something like that could happen, what other horrible fates could befall someone’s cremated remains? And thus was born our “Top 10 Reasons to Reconsider Cremation”, which I will now present for your reading pleasure and edification (and which, I might add, are in no particular order).

1.​ Someone could mistake you for a drug stash and steal you.
2.​ Someone could mistake you for a drug stash and use you accordingly.
3.​ You could get left under the seat of a van by a carnival worker who was involved in an accident and fled the scene. (That really happened . . . they are currently living in the closet under our stairs. The ashes, not the carnival worker).
4.​ The cat could knock you off the mantle and use you as a litter box.
5.​ Your family could just “forget” to come back and get you.
6.​ Your family could move away and leave you in the closet . . . which means you’re going to end up in our closet.
7. ​If you need to travel a great distance immediately after you die, it’s easier to get a body ​on a plane than a box of ashes.
8.​ If you do get to live on the mantle, no one will ever be allowed to throw a ball in the house again.
9.​ If you get spilled whoever is cleaning up may have a hard time telling you from the ​dust.
10.​ Scattering can be a challenge if the wind is blowing the wrong way.

There you have it, the product of temporary insanity. And although we make light of the matter, rest assured, we operate under no illusions that the reasons listed above would ever change anyone’s mind if they were seriously considering cremation as a method of disposition (which was not the intent to begin with). And did you notice the word I used? Disposition. That’s exactly what cremation is—disposition—a manner in which one disposes of a deceased human body. Just like burial but with flames instead of dirt. The important part is what comes before either of those takes place—memorialization.

For some reason, cremation has gained the reputation of being the beginning and end of everything where a funeral is concerned and nothing could be farther from the truth. Without that time of honoring and remembering, of visiting and sharing, of laughter and tears, there is the very real possibility of denial. Even though we know this person is no longer physically with us, the visitation and the service force us to acknowledge that in a manner that cannot be accomplished by any other means. As a society, we may believe we are beyond the need for that ritual, that we have progressed to a point where we are psychologically superior to our ancestors and able to handle death even when we don’t confront it. But folks, they had it right. The denial of death does not make it go away and they understood that honoring the one who has died acknowledges their importance and allows us to begin the adjustment to life without them. So whether you choose earth burial or cremation is really beside the point. What matters is how you choose to honor those in death who helped you through this life.

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