“We lost him in a senseless act that brought close to home the insidious rift of prejudice and intolerance that is too familiar, too common. He was resolute in his conduct (and) respect of all people.  In his final act of bravery, he held true to what he believed is the way forward. He will live in our hearts forever as the just, brave, loving, hilarious and beautiful soul he was. We ask that in honor of his memory, we use this tragedy as an opportunity for reflection and change. We choose love.”

So read the statement of Namkai Meche’s sister, a statement issued in response to his death at the hands of another—a death that came about because he chose to protect someone he’d never met from the violence perpetrated by a madman.

It is not my intention to discuss the events as they occurred or to even comment on the situation of our world as a whole or our country specifically.  That’s not why I’m here and that’s not what this blog is about.  What I do want to note is his family’s reaction to his untimely and unnecessary death.

“We ask that in honor of his memory, we use this tragedy as an opportunity for reflection and change.  We choose love.”

It would be so easy to be bitter, to be filled with hate and anger over this young man’s senseless death, but his family has chosen to at least attempt a higher road.  Despite their best efforts and intentions, there will be moments when hate and anger will win, but by publicly professing a stance far removed from those emotions, they have shown the world a better way.  They have also told Death he does not win.

Whenever loss comes suddenly and violently, those who survive have a choice, often a choice they don’t even realize they are required to make.  They can respond in kind, reflecting the attitudes and actions that took their loved one, or they can choose love and try to turn a tragedy into a lesson—and then into an act.

By choosing love they have also accomplished one other, very important feat.  They have denied profound grief a permanent home.  By choosing to respond positively to their loss, the anger and the bitterness and the hatred that could so easily infest their lives will not be allowed to poison their souls.  That choice will allow them to adjust and to move forward.  When Death comes violently, choosing love rather than hate takes away the power of the person responsible; their actions no longer control the lives of those who are left behind.  Instead, those who choose love choose to respect the memory of the one who was tragically taken.  They choose to honor the life lost by embracing their own.

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