Have you ever listened as a couple exchanged traditional wedding vows? I mean really listened to the words . . . to understand how solemn those promises are when they are made in earnest? Surely, we all know them by heart (or at least a reasonable facsimile thereof) . . .
“I, (fill in somebody’s name) take you (fill in the name of that somebody’s soon-to-be-spouse) for my lawfully wedded (add the appropriate relationship), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, ‘till death do us part.”
Recently, I thought of those vows—and I had no idea why. I wasn’t attending a wedding or even contemplating attending a wedding. There were no nuptials taking place on “Murder, She Wrote” or “Perry Mason” or “Matlock”. Out of nowhere they just popped into my head . . . and after a moment of reflection, I realized why. I’d been thinking about the Mother’s Day blog.
Those may be the vows exchanged by couples when they pledge themselves to one another in holy matrimony, but except for the lawfully wedded part, they are also the vows a mother makes to her child before that child is even born . . . often before they are even conceived.
Mothers hold their children forever . . . in their arms . . . in their thoughts . . . in their prayers . . . sometimes, sadly, in their memories. And it doesn’t matter how old that child is or if they have given their life and love to another, their mother’s embrace can never be replaced. Supplemented, maybe. But never replaced.
And have you ever realized a mother spends most of her life holding her breath. Will her child arrive in this world whole and healthy? Will she be able to protect them from the evils of the world? Will they choose their companions wisely and stay out of trouble? Will they excel in their classes in school (or at least pass) and make good decisions regarding their careers? If they choose a partner in life, will it be someone who supports them, loves, and cherishes them? Will they be happy? All the better, richer, in health moments lighten every mother’s heart. She rejoices when her child rejoices . . . but she also weeps when her child weeps. Nothing can break a mother’s heart more than seeing her child struggle, yet she remains constant and steadfast in her devotion. Still loving them and holding them and claiming them as her own, even in times that are worse . . . that are poorer . . . that are fraught with sickness. And she will do everything in her power to understand and to offer comfort and support. Even when the situation is seemingly hopeless, she continues to hope . . . and to believe in us.
A loving mother is one of life’s greatest blessings—a blessing we chafe under in our youth and cherish as we grow older. For some of us, that earthly comfort and protection ended when they drew their last breath—but for all of us, her lessons—and her abiding faith—live on. For better or worse. For richer or poorer. In sickness and in health. There’s only one difference between her vows and those I quoted in the beginning. Not even Death can separate us from our mother’s love.
About the author: Lisa Shackelford Thomas is a fourth-generation member of a family that’s been in funeral service since 1926 and has worked with Shackelford Funeral Directors in Savannah, Tennessee for over 45 years. Any opinions expressed here are hers and hers alone and may or may not reflect the opinions of other Shackelford family members or staff.
