The years and the connections they shared compelled her to attend the service acknowledging the end of his time on this earthly plane. There was just one problem. She had a three-year old . . . and funeral masses are usually not well tolerated by such creatures, mainly due to the abnormal amount of time they are required to sit still. And be quiet. So, activating her Creative Thinking superpower, she began weaving a tale filled with rewards that would be his—if he completed the quest. Which meant he had to be on his best behavior. Should they make it through the funeral mass without meltdowns, tantrums, or attempts to escape, then they got to ride in a parade afterwards! Not only that, but once the parade ended, there would be more food than he had ever seen in one place, and he would be allowed to eat to his heart’s content.
This idea of being in a parade fascinated him, so much so that he actually did manage to behave during the lengthy service. Afterwards they headed to their car and joined the procession . . . the procession that was led by flashing lights . . . the procession that breezed through traffic lights and stop signs . . . the procession where people pulled over as they approached. They really were in a parade! And with that realization, in true parade participant fashion he began waving at all the people along the streets. The only thing lacking was a convertible with the top down so he could perch on the back of the seat. As promised, once the committal service had taken place, there was an abundance of good food so he could eat until he was delightfully miserable. All in all, it had been a fine day for a three-year old.
Fast forward a few years and there is another funeral mass requiring her attendance, only this time there are two problems since now there is a younger brother. His experienced older sibling was up for the adventure and began telling him about the parade and how they would get to be in it and then there would be all this food . . . The only other obstacle was that it was approximately 30 below that day, and as they stood in the cemetery, wrapped in her long coat like a mother hen gathers her chicks beneath her wings, they spotted it. The tent that stood over the grave . . . and the chairs that looked so warm and inviting, compliments of the furry material that enveloped them. But despite all their pleading their mother wouldn’t let them seek the comfort promised by those fur-covered chairs. They were for the family, she said, and they would simply have to survive wrapped in the less-than-adequate warmth of her coat.
Fast forward a few more years and now it’s a family member whose death requires their attendance at yet another funeral mass, only this time they got to ride in a limousine, at the front of the parade. And when they reached the cemetery and the boys saw the tent, they knew. They knew it was only for the family. AND THEY WERE FAMILY!
Lightning could not have shot out of that limousine any faster than they did as they headed for the furry chairs that had been so enticing years before.
Do you see what she did there? She operated off the Mary Poppins “spoonful of sugar” philosophy. By thinking outside the box (pun possibly intended), she managed to intrigue her little ones into behavior that isn’t exactly the norm when young children and funerals are combined. Her creativity allowed her to be there to support her friends and family, while introducing her children to Death in a manner that didn’t terrify them in the process. In this instance, as it so often is, all it took was a different perspective . . . one that turned a funeral procession into a parade.
About the author: Lisa Shackelford Thomas is a fourth-generation member of a family that’s been in funeral service since 1926 and has worked with Shackelford Funeral Directors in Savannah, Tennessee for over 45 years. Any opinions expressed here are hers and hers alone and may or may not reflect the opinions of other Shackelford family members or staff.
