What About the Children?

Shackelford Funeral Directors • August 18, 2016

They left on a simple business trip, a conference where they could learn from their peers and improve their performance in their chosen field. They should have returned home to their families, their friends, their patients and employees.  But they didn’t.  At least not as everyone believed they would.  Not as everyone so desperately wishes they had.

Three mothers and fathers are now gone forever. Eleven children are orphaned.  And a town is reeling from a loss the magnitude of which will only be known years from now.  Anyone who knew them spoke highly of their leadership within the community, of their dedication to their families and their chosen careers.  And always those observations are followed by “Pray for the children”.

I am absolutely certain no one would have dared think that anything so horrific could happen, that three families could be devastated in one terrible tragedy. And so many have echoed the same sentiment . . . what about the children?

It is a legitimate question, one that unfortunately demands an answer. What about the children?  Without warning eleven children from loving homes instantly became orphans.  There are probably grandparents.  There are probably aunts and uncles who can serve as surrogates.  But who decides to whom the task will fall?  If these children need anything right now, it is stability and continuity and unconditional love.  They cannot and must not be shuffled from pillar to post.  So, what about the children?

When my son and daughter-in-law prepared to adopt our little Cora, they were required to make a very important decision, and not just a decision that would affect Cora but one that would also govern the lives of their two sons. What about the children?  If something horrific happened to both of them, who would raise their children?  It took a great deal of thought and prayer on their part and then a wee bit of courage when they had to approach the chosen couple and ask the all important question.  If we die, will you take our three and raise them as your own?  Will you accept the responsibility of teaching them and encouraging them, providing for them and guiding them for the rest of your lives?   It was a decision that could not be taken lightly and, after much thought and prayer, the chosen ones said yes.

If you are a young parent, I would encourage you to ask that question and to find the answer. The parents from Oxford, Mississippi never doubted they would return home to see their children again—and just as they were denied that fully anticipated and very ordinary event—so Death can claim any one of us on any given day.  That is one certainty on which you can bet.  If you have children who have not yet reached the age of 18, this is a question that should be asked and answered and legally confirmed.  If you fail to write out a will or have an attorney draw one for you, the world will not end if your material possessions fall into hands that you might deem unworthy.  But the world of your children will be significantly impacted if someone who does not share your core values and beliefs—who will not love your children as their own—is required to fill your empty shoes.   We worry so much about our earthly possessions.  We establish trusts to protect them and craft wills to distribute them after our departure.  But what about our most important legacy?

What about the children?

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