A Broken Heart

Shackelford Funeral Directors • October 12, 2016

“She left them first, on a Saturday evening. The next morning they went to the nursing home and told him she was gone; within hours, he joined her. After 69 years of marriage, it only seemed right that they should still be together.” So began our Facebook post yesterday, recounting the beautiful story of a couple who, whether by choice or by chance, remained apart for only 18 hours before he followed her in death.  Their story touched thousands and brought about hundreds of reactions, shares, and comments, all because they died as they had lived the vast majority of their lives—together.

Although the closeness of the timing was somewhat unusual, the situation was not. In our profession we are privileged to witness such wonderful yet heart-breaking stories of love and devotion, lives where the departure of one spouse eventually brings about the death of the other, often within a period of two years.  When it does happen, we hear again and again the same phrase, “They died of a broken heart”.

Can that really be a thing? Can someone be so overcome with grief that it literally takes their life?  The answer is yes.  Grief brings depression and depression opens the door to all manner and kind of disease by suppressing the immune system.  Over time the physical body gives in to the mental and emotional stress of trying to cope with the loss.  Over time unresolved grief and depression win.  Many years ago we were called upon to serve a family where the doctor actually listed depression due to loss as a contributing factor in his patient’s death.  It had taken ten years, but grief finally prevailed.

But what about those times when death comes within hours or days rather than years? Believe it or not, the medical profession took their cue from the romantic notion that someone could die of a broken heart and gave the condition a name—Takotsubo Syndrome—aka Broken Heart Syndrome.  Upon studying images of the heart in patients who were suffering from newly minted loss, Japanese researchers realized there were times when its shape had changed until it resembled a fishing pot known in their culture as a tako-tsubo.  In this condition the heart muscle can become so compromised that it simply cannot pump enough blood to sustain life.  The end result can be life-threatening heart failure—death brought about by a “broken heart”.

The clinical details may somewhat tarnish the fairy tale-ish appearance of death brought on by love and loss, but the scientific explanation should never be allowed to lessen the significance of what has occurred. Whether from grief and depression or from syndromes with names we can’t pronounce, the ending to the story is still the same.  Someone loved someone else so deeply and devotedly and completely that life could not continue without them.

 

By Lisa Thomas August 20, 2025
Carl Jeter had walked out on the deck of his house to survey the flood waters of the Guadalupe River—and to be certain the level was no longer rising.
By Lisa Thomas August 13, 2025
It was bedtime in the Guinn household and six-year-old Malcolm had decided tonight was the night to declare his independence.
By Lisa Thomas August 6, 2025
They had been married almost 25 years when Death suddenly took him. Twenty-five years of traveling around the country with his work. Twenty-five years of adventures and building their family and finally settling into a place they believed they could call their forever home.
By Lisa Thomas July 30, 2025
It was quietly hiding in the chaos that was once a well-organized, barn-shaped workshop/storage building, one now filled with all the things no one needed but with which they couldn’t bring themselves to part.
By Lisa Thomas July 23, 2025
Do you remember when new vehicles didn’t come with on-board navigation systems and if you wanted one you had to buy something like a Garmin or a Magellan or some other brand that would talk you through your trip?
By Lisa Thomas July 16, 2025
Recently I found myself playing a rousing game of “Chutes and Ladders” with my grandson and his mom (my daughter)—a game I soon realized I was destined to lose.
By Lisa Thomas July 10, 2025
Facebook is like the double-edged sword of social media. On the one hand, it can be the spreader of good news . . . But it also serves as the bearer of all that is bad.
By Lisa Thomas July 2, 2025
I don’t actually know how Facebook decides what I like or what topics might be of interest. It’s understood there is some mysterious algorithm quietly running in the background . . .
By Lisa Thomas June 25, 2025
With her head bent low and her eyes laser-focused on the sidewalk before her, she slowly made her way around the park. Step by step, one foot in front of the other.
By Lisa Thomas June 18, 2025
It was dark outside when the phone rang; a glance at the clock revealed the day was still in its infancy, which explained why the funeral director’s brain did not want to engage. Years of experience prevailed however, and he answered the call, finding on the other end of the line a hospice nurse requesting their services for a death that had occurred in a home.