There are a lot of events in life that we simply take for granted will occur.  If you’re in high school, everyone just assumes there will be a graduation to attend.  If you go to college afterwards . . . or enter the military . . . or attend a trade school . . . it is assumed that you will also complete that phase of life and celebrate the transition accordingly.  Then there’s the new job and marriage and children—all events that are, for the most part, expected as a normal part of a normal life.

In the course of all this expectation, you just take for granted certain people will be there to help you celebrate each milestone.  But a while back, a young friend of mine gave me a new perspective on the events of life and the people who always cheer you on.  You see, her mother had been tragically taken from her months earlier and, despite her need and desire to be “the strong one” in the family, the loss and her struggle to lift everyone else up had taken its toll.  We had closed ourselves off from the rest of the world while she shared thoughts with me that I’m not sure had been shared with anyone else.  And then she said something like this . . .

“I always looked forward to going to college and graduating, getting married and having children.  But I don’t anymore . . . I dread all of that . . . everything I’ve always wanted and now I dread it, because she won’t be here to share it with me . . .”

Even now, when I close my eyes I can hear the grief in her voice and see her struggle to make sense of the new life that had been forced upon her.  In the course of that tragic event she not only lost her mother, she lost an important part of her future.  And she knew it with such depth of clarity that it was overwhelming.

What she said was so obvious, but it was an obvious that had never occurred to me.  My mother lived to see my graduation from high school and college, my wedding and my children.  She lived to see their graduations and marriages as well.  I had never contemplated what life would have been like had she not been there to share those moments.

Now it’s my turn to state the obvious—our mothers are an important part of our lives, a part that we take for granted will always be there until such a time as age deems otherwise.  They are our guiding light, our teacher and our sounding board, the person we know we can turn to should the whole world crumble around us—and the person with whom we want to share life’s events, whether large or small.  Granted, spouses or significant others hold a special place when it comes to sharing the trials and tribulations or joyous moments life can bring . . . but your mother and her love for you can never be equaled, and no one can ever take her place.  It is a bond like no other, and when it is broken by Death, whether in your youth or as an aging adult, the hole that is left in your heart cannot be filled.

I’ve tried all kinds of ways to wrap this up, from catchy Mother’s Day quotes to words of wisdom and ancient sayings, but it all seems so trite when you think about someone who loves you beyond the ability of words to express.  So I’ll simply end with this.  Those of us who are fortunate enough to still have our mothers with us should honor and cherish them each and every day, not just once a year—because those of us who are missing that important piece of life’s puzzle wish we still could.

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