I was walking down the stairs as he was coming up . . . the big, wide stairs off the funeral home foyer that tempt unattended small children and confuse the adults who still don’t know we’ve moved the lounge downstairs. I was headed from the second floor to the business office below. He and his wife were headed to the second floor and the arrangement room, a folder of information clutched to his chest, his eyes red and swollen—and still glistening with tears.
His was a familiar face, one I had known for years, and it was to him I spoke as we passed, expressing my sympathy for his unfathomable loss. He stopped and raising his head, looked at me with hopeful eyes and asked “Did you know my son?”
I did, but not in the ways you wanted to share with a grieving father. The young man had struggled for years, despite his parents’ unending support, and had finally seemed to turn the corner when Death took him. His family would learn later it had come naturally, not hastened by illegal substances or years of addiction. Although I’m sure many in our community believed his lifestyle had led to his demise, nothing could have been further from the truth. Which didn’t help as I thought about how to answer his question. What I knew was small town gossip. What I knew was only what others thought they knew. And it was that lack of actual first-hand knowledge that guided my response. I knew of his son, but did not know him personally.
His eyes lit up, locking onto mine, and for the next several minutes he spoke of the child he had lost with the love of a grief-stricken father. He told me how kind and caring he was, how hard he had worked to turn his life around. How sad it was that he would never have the chance to see what his future held . . . and I stood and listened, knowing he needed to talk and that I, being in the right place at the right time, needed to listen.
About the author: Lisa Shackelford Thomas is a fourth-generation member of a family that’s been in funeral service since 1926 and has worked with Shackelford Funeral Directors in Savannah, Tennessee for over 45 years. Any opinions expressed here are hers and hers alone and may or may not reflect the opinions of other Shackelford family members or staff.
