For a good many people, the next few days will be filled with food and family. For a good many people, that’s already begun. We’ll stuff ourselves into oblivion, then look for the nearest nappable surface or television to watch whatever the big game of the day is. And somewhere ‘midst the chaos of visits and vittles, memories will join the party.
Sometimes, they’re invited, carried in with the sweet potato casserole your mother always made—the one with the brown sugar, pecan topping instead of the more traditional marshmallows. They’re found rooted in the rituals of the past—rituals we continue because of the comfort and connection they bring with them.
But sometimes those memories sneak in at the most awkward and unexpected times . . . like when you’re frantically straightening the house in preparation for the onslaught, and a long-forgotten note slips from an out-of-place book you’ve been meaning to read. Or when everyone gathers around the table—and someone else sits in the seat once reserved for that special person. And suddenly it hits you . . .
Invited or not, I treasure those memories and all the others this time of year seems to bring, even when they prove to be a double-edged sword. Yes, they provide a connection to those I’ve lost . . . while reminding me of how much I miss them. Yes, they allow me to feel comforted by the presence of those who are no longer here . . . while reminding me of that very fact.
One of the greatest gifts we have been given is that of memory. For all the sadness and grief it may hold, it also possesses the hint of immortality. For as long as I remember those who have gone on before me, they will continue to live. And for that, I will always, always be thankful.
In this season of gratitude, I hope you have memories to treasure, to comfort and connect you to all those who are no longer here to celebrate. May their empty chairs be filled with the love of family, and may their presence in your heart bring you peace.
About the author: Lisa Shackelford Thomas is a fourth-generation member of a family that’s been in funeral service since 1926 and has worked with Shackelford Funeral Directors in Savannah, Tennessee for over 45 years. Any opinions expressed here are hers and hers alone and may or may not reflect the opinions of other Shackelford family members or staff.
